A Crummy, Sad Post

When I titled my post yesterday, I really wasn't thinking about the lyrics to the song, which I've included below. More fitting than I realized. The Captain and Tennille were married in 1975 and, sigh, are still married. I wish I knew how to make that second verse work. No super powers for me.

Love Can Keep It Together

by Captain and Tennille

Love, love will keep us together
Think of me babe whenever
Some sweet talking girl comes along singing her song
Don't mess around,
gotta be strong

Just Stop, 'cause I really love You
Stop, I'll be thinking of you
Look in my heart and let love keep us together

You, You belong to me now
Ain't gonna set you free now
When those girls start hanging around talking me down
Hear with your heart and you won't hear a sound.

Just Stop, 'cause I really love you
Stop, I'll be thinking of you
Look in my heart and let love keep us together, what ever.

Young and beautiful
Someday your looks will be gone
When the others turn you off 
Who'll be turning you on

I will, I will, I will, I will
Be there to share forever
Love will keep us together
Said it before and I'll say it again while others pretend
I'll need you now and I'll need you then

Stop 'cause I really love Ya
Stop I'll be thinking of Ya
Look in my heart and let love keep us together

I may not have super powers, but I do have super safety glasses. I got a number of compliments on these beauties today and how they matched my shirt and jacket. Even when you are running around on the shop floor helping machinists with the computer stuff, ya gotta have some style.

Today I rode Luke. We did a lot of trotting, cantering, changes of directions and leads, big circles, little circles, and serpentines. After we were both thoroughly dizzied, we went down the rode a ways. Even though it was a windy day, Luke was calm and relaxed. I swear, it seems like sometimes they just know when you've had a hard day and they need to be good so you can at least feel in control in some area of your life.

I've got 90 small bales of grass hay being delivered tomorrow, with the plan that it last me until September. I have a feeling it's going to be a dry summer and there won't be much to munch on in the pasture. But then I started thinking that if I need to sell a horse because I can't afford to board and care for two of them, I really don't need that much hay. 

Now would be the time to sell a horse, with a whole summer of riding ahead. No one wants to buy a horse right before or during the winter, when you can't do much with them but pay for their keep. But I just don't want to deal with these things right now.

My husband is tearing apart the basement and such, tossing out junk, getting ready to sell. I'm just trying not to throw up. I've lost 10 pounds. Maybe there's something positive about all this.

Yuck! This is kind of a crummy, sad post. Ups and downs, it's a roller coaster ride. I'll try and do better next time.  Maybe I'll tell you the story about my tattoo.

Love Can Keep It Together or Not

My hair was a lot longer when we got married. Maybe that's where I went wrong, my hair got shorter and darker...

I said I would write about relationships. Not that you should listen to a word I say, considering. And this is a lot harder than I thought it would be, but here goes.

I'll start out by saying you should read Sue Seeger's post on relationships. After I read some of her points, I was thinking "Uh Oh."

So you should zoom on over and read the post I'm going to quote from, and read some of her current stuff, because Sue is always doing something interesting and adventurous.

What I have added to what Sue said in her blog is based on things I would never do again and the things that I see in successful relationships that I will do from now on. 

Sue's #1 in her successful relationship list is: "Pick right in the first place. It's not going to work unless both people's idea of what they want their life to look like matches up."

Both my husband and I wanted to live in the country. I thought we both liked doing outdoorsy things. My husband was new to horseback riding but thought it would be fun (he changed his mind when he discovered horses don't always do what you want them to do). He was very supportive of my writing. I was supportive of what he wanted to do with his career. We both wanted to travel and spend the winters somewhere warmer after we retire. We both wanted to have a home our families could visit and enjoy. We both love music, to listen to and play. We have a matching sense of humor, one that many other people don't get. That was probably the thing that most attracted me to my husband, that and his extremely good looks and intelligence. I love my husband and can't believe that our differences at this point mean I "picked wrong". I'm not sure if he changed or what happened on this one.

Sue's #2 is that "Mostly it's a firm decision you make in your mind. When the escape clause is off the table, stuff HAS to be worked out. You have to be in it to win it."

My husband has had an escape clause in the back of his mind for quite some time. He almost used it 5 years ago and I haven't felt secure in our relationship since then. There's nothing worse than living in fear of doing something that is going to be the last straw.

So I didn't have Sue's #3 either: "Be the other person's safe place. No betrayals-- ever. No belittling their dreams. No looking for every little thing 'wrong'."

There's the other woman - super betrayal. And there were the jabs at my main interests. In talking to him now, he denies things like the horses were an issue, that he was just joking. Yet, he has also said, he felt he was living "my dream" at the expense of his own and was more a stablehand than a life partner.

Unfortunately, he never expressed that feeling to me. Probably to her, but not to me - another betrayal. Relationships are about compromising in some areas, doing for each other, but not to the point that you feel resentful. If resentment is building up, SAY SOMETHING! These things CAN be worked out, bringing us back to Sue's #2 - "stuff HAS to be worked out". 

Sue's #4: "Laugh and goof around as much as possible. Life is supposed to be fun."

I got nothin to add to that one.

Sue's #5: "Get a life. The other person isn't there to complete you -- that's your job. You share the lives you have. Stay plugged in."

If you aren't happy, if you don't feel you have the same connection or feelings you once had for the person you are married to, do something about it. And I don't mean get divorced. Talk to your partner about what you'd like from them, from the relationship. Do more things together. Make dates. Give each other your full attention. Go on a vacation. Don't let all your responsibilities and "To Do's" stand in the way. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, take each other for granted. Do not say you'll do it tomorrow, or next month, or when you have more money, or whatever. Give each other more attention than you give anyone else, including your kids.

Sue's #6: "Look around every once in a while and appreciate how sweet you have it. No matter what's going on there is always some stuff to feel lucky about-- notice that stuff. Don't dwell on all the stuff that's not ideal."

#6 is huge! My husband and I are so fortunate in what we have with each other. I'm not big on the belief that it's greener on the other side of the fence. In my mind, our problems are few. That doesn't mean the issues would be easily resolvable, there would be work involved, but we could make this marriage work if both of us wanted to. 

What I would add to Sue's list is Mary's #7: You need to understand the dynamics of the family you are joining, because either yours or your partner's family can play a part in undermining you or your partner and causing strife in your relationship. If this happens, both of you need to be willing to either stop the family strife through a family meeting or some kind of communication, or if worse comes to worse, break off with any family member that won't support you and your relationship. Marriage is tough. You need a family that is supportive and respectful of your relationship. 

And Mary's #8: If you are spending more time thinking about your relationship rather than being in your relationship and talking to each other about the issues running through your mind, you have a problem, and you need to do something NOW! If you feel your parner is acting odd, if they seem to be distancing themselves or putting up a wall between you, it's not just an illusion. They are, and you need to ask why! Don't analyze it. Don't rationalize it. Don't make excuses for them. Open your mouth and talk!

And Mary's #9, which does not only apply to relationships but to all living, Do not live in fear. There are worse things than saying or doing the wrong thing. There are worse things than a confrontation or argument. You may think you are avoiding escalating a problem by not talking about it, but guess what? You'd be wrong. I was wrong.

As painful as the ending of my marriage is, it has been a life changing experience and I will never live my life the same way again.

Honeymoon - where H discovered that I lick rocks to wet them and better determine if they are agates. Okay, you noticed. I really don't know what's going on with the middle finger of my right hand. Some sort of spasm I think. Oops, there's that sense of humor that only a select few understand.

No Pillar of Salt for Me

My sister advised me not to be like Lot's wife and spend my time looking backwards, lest I turn into a pillar of salt. Perhaps pillar of salt was a metaphor for grief and the salty tears that sadness brings?

I know I can't get through this time without grieving, without examining my life to some extent, but I do think my sister's words about not getting stuck there, to not put all my time and attention on the past, is good advice.

My new motto has been to do the things I enjoy most first. The result is that I'm happier but my house is a total mess.

Yesterday, besides discussing with my husband the division of property and money, and selling of the house (the not enjoyable stuff), I rode Murphy and Luke, and went for a walk in the park with Java. 

I've been riding both horses only in my outdoor ring, which is fenced and is a better place to handle shying and blow ups. Since they both have been pretty good, with only a few episodes of bolting from rustling leaves and no blow ups, I decided yesterday to ride a little ways off the property. 

Murphy and I rode the circumference  of my neighbors hay field and Luke I rode back around my neighbors woods. Neither trip was very far from home. I'll increase distance as I go along.

With two horses that are nervous about being off the property by themselves, it sure would be nice to have a riding buddy. I'm still hoping to learn how to hook up the trailer and be able to back it up with some level of confidence before the truck and trailer disappear from my life. 

I was planning on alternating trailering Luke and Murphy to a park nearby and riding by myself or asking some stranger I run into at the park if I can ride with them. But I'm thinking that might be a bit risky since the horses are not used to being trailered and ridden alone at a park and hoping to run into someone that happens to be riding when I go is iffy. So the new plan is, if I can master the trailer thing, I can call and make arrangements to meet up with another horse person I know in the area. Once Luke and Murphy have been on the trail more, I might be able to go it alone. For now, I might be going it alone on a lot of things...

I'll finish up with a photo taken in 2003 of Luke and I in the pasture. Please ignore the ugly painter pants and gray shirt I'm in. I never said I was stylish, but really, I do have a great personality...

p.s. Pony Girl brought up some interesting thoughts/questions about relationships in her comments on a previous post that I want to respond to, so I'll be posting something about my feelings on relationships and what makes them successful or not very soon. 

Unbraiding a Life

The weather has been nice the last couple days. Thoughts of sitting on the deck with friends, talking and enjoying a beer, are dancing in my head. I keep trying to push these thoughts away and picture something else. But I don't have any pictures to replace them with. 

I forget that my husband doesn't want to enjoy the summer with me. Out of habit, I want to ask him what we're doing Friday night.

Our lives were so intertwined or at least his was with mine. I don't know how to unbraid it. To separate the strands and follow the one that's me. Or what's me now, with all the kinks imprinted from where he used to be.  

Is even staying in the place I currently work too hard? It feels like someplace I no longer belong, even after working there for 29 years. It's where we met. It's where we are known. Even my identity there feels so tied to him. How do I stand walking past his office and no longer seeing my pictures there?

He's made some sort of cognitive leap that I can't seem to grasp. Maybe it helps if someone is waiting to catch you, someone like he has. Someone who encourages you that what you are doing is the right thing to do. That says the things you want to hear. Someone you can dream a new life with. Someone with whom you can imagine the life you think you don't have now. A possibility.

Unfortunately, the only pictures I carry in my head of a future are his future, with someone else. The hurt of being so easily replaced. Of wondering if you ever meant anything at all because he's talking about you and your life together as if you were an old shirt that no longer fits or perhaps is a color he no longer prefers.

This is not about what he's done because I don't want to argue out or drone on about that. This is about how it makes me feel and how I'm going to deal with that and move on. 

I don't know right now. So I ramble...

My husband almost died from an illness when he was in college. He says it gives you a different perspective on life. You don't want' to waste time.

I understand that life is short, and living your life to the fullest is more important that accumulating money or things. But I don't understand not working through problems and not communicating. Not living life to the fullest with the person you married.  

I don't want to feel sorry for myself. To roll in my despair like a pig in a mud puddle. 

I'm gathering right now. Gathering my wits and trying to vomit out the crap.

So to bring a little cheer into my life and hopefully yours, I thought I'd post a couple photos that always make me laugh.

Pontoon ride - Posed every so prettily in the front is my sister T and I. In the back are my brother S, Dad, and Uncle P who are distracted by something off to the side.

"Oh! You're taking a photo!" I love the smiles on those guys and my Dad's jovial wave. Good times...

Drivel

Today has been a tough day. I was writing a post about my old dog, Willow, but couldn't summon the energy or feeling to make it work.

I'm so worried about screwing up at my job right now. I work as part of a team to implement a new software system throughout the company. Our factories exist in several buildings. We are implementing in our third factory, with the fourth and largest building implementation to occur in November this year.

This week, I will spend two days supporting software training and two days doing the training. Because there are several shifts, training lasts from 7 AM to 10 PM on a couple days. 

Another part of my job consists of documenting the new work instructions that people need, which is what I'm better at than I am at doing standup training. 

Next week, I'll be on the factory floor answering people's questions from 5:30 AM to 4:30 PM.

To have so much going on at work when my brain is struggling to function and I haven't been sleeping well, it's just not a good thing. Did I mention that my husband and I work at the same company? It doesn't get better than this...

It's also not a good thing that the writing I do to express myself and cope feels like it's left me. 

I don't want to drivel on about all the ugly things going on and how I'm not handling them all that well.

I have an image to keep going here.

So I hope you'll forgive the lack of creativity I'm going through.

I will try to keep supporting all of you in your blogs. Right now, it's much more pleasant to read about other people's lives, than it is to write about my own.

But I'm sure that zany girl of the past will return, full of even more adventure and surprises.

If not, maybe Murphy can start writing this blog...

Dad's Birthday Poem

It's my Dad's birthday today, the first since he passed away. We had a big birthday party for him in 2006, my sister S made t-shirts for it that we all wore. We planned the party after we first discovered that our Dad's cancer was advanced and incurable. He survived for three more years.

Mom, Dad and Us Kids

I was trying to think of something to do to honor this day. My sister T suggested that I write our Dad a poem, the way he did for me on some of my birthdays. 

I haven't written a poem for 25 years and never have I written the kind of poems my Dad wrote. But here's my attempt at a cowgirl poem.

 

Birthday Poem for My Dad

Start with a shedder, long strokes of the hand.

Hair flying everywhere, covering the sand.

Move into a rhythm, several strokes then a flick.

I got lost in my task, it gives me a kick.

After a shedder, a large brush, and one that's fine,

I say, "Good enough!" I've spent enough time.

On goes a pad and then a saddle.

Luke blows up like a wood tick. I'd like to give him a paddle.

Now comes the bridle, Luke lowers his head.

It goes on easily. "Thank you." I said.

I have a great ride, as I think of my Dad.

I wish he were here. That he's not,  makes me sad.

He never did see me ride my Murphy or Luke.

Didn't think much of gaited, would have found Murphy a kook. 

I think if he'd seen me ride them, he'd have been proud.

I hope a good rider in his eyes I would have been found.

So Happy Birthday Dad! This is my first cowgirl poem.

I hope that in heaven, you've found a good home.

Being a Strong Woman

It was a beautiful day today - low 70s. So as soon as I got home from work, before I lost daylight, I changed clothes and rode Murphy. 

Since I didn't have anyone to take photos. I decided to try and take my own. Thus the shots of the top of Murphy's head.

And the horse and rider shadow shot. 

And the shot of poor, forlorn Java, who had to be tied with a lunge line to a tree while I rode. She tends to think horses are big dogs and tears around them trying to get them to play. The horses are not amused.

The arena I'm riding in was a birthday present from my husband in 2007. Before that, I had to ride on uneven, hard clay with a thin layer of grass. Below is the arena model I received on my 50th birthday.

Here's the start of the work.

And putting in fence.

I know I shouldn't dwell on these things. It doesn't do any good. But the memories keep coming. He's been a loving man.

I wish I'd known he felt he was living my dream and not his own. I thought what we were building was his dream too. 

You can't know what you're not told, so I'm trying to avoid the self-blame.

I've received so much encouragement and compassion from people. Thanks so much for lifting my spirits. 

And I've been told that I'm a strong woman and will make it through this, even if I don't feel like it now. I know that's true, I just wish there wasn't a situation in my life that required me to summon up that part of me. 

End of a Cowgirl Dream?

I wake up each day trying to grasp what’s happening. So far, I can’t. 

This past weekend, my husband told me he’s filing for divorce. Did I see that coming? No. He’d said something was not right in our marriage about a month ago, but we talked and I thought we were working things out. I thought he WANTED to work things out. 

He’d been cold and distant lately, I thought it was the stress of the economy and work. I learned that it was his way of shutting me out of his heart. He was thinking about our marriage and working things out in his mind for the past six months or so. He said he’s been trying. But he’s been trying alone, without me knowing what’s happening.

I still don’t grasp it. There’s a loss of connection, he says. Nothing wrong with me. He’s not angry with me. He says it would be easier if he were. He has an idea of what a relationship should be like, what it would feel like, and he doesn’t have that thing with me.

I had such plans for this summer. I’ve had thyroid problems that medication has just recently helped resolve. I was pulling out of the grief over losing my Dad. I finally had some energy. I was starting to write again, with this blog, and a book I had planned.

And my husband and I just recently did a big remodel on the whole first floor of our house. We picked out new kitchen countertops, wood floors, and colors to paint all the walls. I just finally have gotten almost everything put back in place – hung pictures back up, moved furniture back, put books back on the shelves, arranged lamps and knick knacks.

After the lengthy chaos of the remodel and dealing with the fear that spending the money on it was a mistake with how things were at work, I was just beginning to enjoy the new look, the feel of the place. I’ve been walking around the house admiring the rich colors and textures. I love the new look of my office, with all the reds I put into it. 

I was looking forward to entertaining this summer. I was looking forward to having friends and family over, some who have never been to my home, to show them how the remodel turned out.

I wanted this to be a place where people felt welcome. I bought a book on making bread. I had this image of always having coffee and fresh bread available. Maybe cookies too. I had plans and dreams…

And now? I have no idea. I have two horses, a dog, a cat, and one goldfish. It’s not just finding a home for me. It’s finding a home for them. It’s losing a truck to haul the horse trailer. And that goal I wrote about, learning to be an expert at driving the horse trailer so I could take myself trail riding whenever I wanted? Not happening. 

The garden I was going to plant this summer and all the tomatoes I was finally going to learn how to can? Not happening.

I am losing a man that I love so much it hurts. I can’t imagine life without him. He’s been my friend, my lover, and my helpmate. He understands my sense of humor. He’s made me laugh and comforted me through many of my losses. I thought we were building a life together.

I think about when he proposed to me. How he stopped near the place we first kissed – a stoplight in a little town. He came to my side of the vehicle and on bended knee proposed. I thought it was so romantic. I was so happy. I’ve been so happy.

Besides losing my husband, I am losing my home. The place that I have felt safe, at peace, happy, and so fortunate. When we moved into this place, I kept looking around in disbelief. The land we are on is so beautiful, so perfect – the trees, a creek, a pond, some rolling hills, a huge deck to sit out on and watch the horses play.  When we first moved into the place, I told my husband I would never move again, that he’d have to bury me out in the pasture.

In the back of my mind, I knew I’d probably have to move again, perhaps when I was 70 and could no longer keep up with things. When that happened, I thought we would move to a townhouse or something like that. Maybe have a winter home somewhere warmer. That we would travel. And golf, something my husband started to teach me last summer, that I took up so we had something we could do together, and with our friends.

So much loss. My Mom in September 2007; my dog, Willow, in August 2008 (people who’ve lost dogs know that’s no trifle); my Dad in November 2008, and now my husband and home. Not to mention losing an Aunt and Uncle in the past month. And I’ve been through divorce before and never wanted to go through it again.

People say to give it time. I need to get over the shock first. Right now, I can’t fathom a new home. I can’t fathom a different life. I don’t know how I’ll bear not being with this man that I love. Yet, I’m told by friends and family that I will bear it. Somehow.

I read Psalms a lot lately. Such as, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?” Psalm 22:1

I try to have faith and not be fearful. “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Psalm 18:2

It may sound bad, but I try to be angry rather than depressed. I’ve heard that depression is anger turned inward and I agree.

And I try to see the humor in a humorless situation because laughter is what has gotten me through loss and hard times before. But nothing like this. I have never suffered a loss this great.

Maybe it’s not the end of a cowgirl dream, just this particular cowgirl dream. I feel too old to create a new one. I don’t know where I’ll summon the energy or desire from. I can’t even imagine living anywhere else, being with anyone else. I don’t want anything else. Really, really, don’t want anything else. 

But it’s early. Maybe. I can’t see it now. But maybe. 

And I'm not quite sure what this blog will be about for awhile. I don't want to go on and on about my divorce and sorrow. Not very entertaining. Maybe it will help me live with some sort of normalcy if I plan on continuing to write about my dog and horses. So, hopefully, future posts will not be this long drawn out monologue without even one photo. 

I'll try and I'll keep trying, and I know some of your blogs will keep inspiring me.

Happy Easter!

It's almost Easter and I've been feeling nostalgic. My adoptive Mom was Polish and at Easter time she made a beet and horseradish relish that we called "Kassan". I have no idea how to spell it. 

My Mom

We had this relish on our hard-boiled eggs, kielbasa (Polish sausage), ham and whatever else we felt like putting it on. That's my Mom's old recipe book and the ingredients I used.

I haven't made it lately because my husband and everyone else I know doesn't like it. I admit, I don't like beets and I don't like horseradish, but I do like this relish. Maybe the sugar and vinegar make it palatable. Or maybe it's just that the relish was a tradition, and I like traditions. Regardless, I made it a couple days ago and have been enjoying it on eggs and bratwurst. 

How's this for Easter garb? That's childhood me, my brother Ed, and my cousin. I think Ed's suit is too small. He looks awfully uncomfortable. Love the hats...

I haven't yet shown you the things I picked up in Berkeley. So exciting! At the top of the photo below is a calendar with western artwork by Jack Terry, then there's a couple used poetry books, and a silly journal with cowgirls on it. You can probably hardly see the jewelry sitting on Marge Piercy's book but there's a bracelet and earrings I received from my sister and a necklace with a horse and horseshoe on it that I received from my son. 

I bought the "10 Poems to Last a Lifetime" book because one of the poems was by Mary Oliver and I love her work. The one in the book is called "When Death Comes". I like the part that says, 

"When it's over, I want to say; all my life, I was a bride married to amazement, I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. When it's over, I don't want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real, I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I don't want to end up simply having visited this world."

Little by little, I'm getting back into the regular routine. Like de-hairing the dog. Found this beauty of a comb that takes out the loose undercoat, which my regular dog brush was not doing. Right after I took this photo, Java took off with the ball of hair. Nice...

The weather has been sunny and in the 50s so I rode the horses yesterday and today. Nice look, huh?

I lost my photographer after this shot but I really did ride both horses. It's time consuming having two horse to keep going but they are both so different, it keeps things interesting. 

With Murphy, who is lazy as all get out, I have to drive, drive, drive. He's a Missouri Fox Trotter (gaited) so he rides very smoothly but my legs get quite a work out trying to keep some forward momentum.

Luke is just the opposite. With him I work on slowing down and calming down. He's often on red alert with a stiff back and head high up in the air. I'll get him relaxed and loose and then the wind blows and we're right back to flight mode.

Luke is part Tennessee Walker and part Quarter Horse as far as I can tell. This gives quite an interesting gait. He can have a very high, floaty looking trot which is beautiful to watch but kind of like a jack hammer to sit, so I post a lot. 

If Luke gets nervous or I try to slow him down or collect him, he goes into gaited mode, but it's not a nice gait, it's more like a nervous jig. If he gets really uptight, he'll combine the nervous jig with the high trot and get something that feels completely spastic. His canter can be very nice if he doesn't get going too fast and start feeling off balance, which makes him run even faster. 

I have actually learned to stay pretty relaxed through all Lukes goofiness, which usually helps him. I do a lot of changes of direction and gaits, lots of loops and circles of various sizes, and if he seems to have forgotten I exist, I back up, do turns on the haunches and forehand, leg yield, and shoulder in.

Luke probably sounds like a lot of work but the thing is, it's not meanness or unwillingness. He's trying his best and his ears keep flicking back to me, trying to figure out what I want next. 

What more can a girl ask for? 

Self Surplus Art Exhibit

Since returning home, it's been busy, busy, busy - unpacking, laundry, restocking the frig, getting back into the routine. Fortunately, today, Good Friday, is a work holiday and I took another vacation day yesterday. 

First, I'd like to tell you about my son's senior art exhibit. Since I'm his mother, my opinion might be a bit biased but I thought his art was amazing! 

All the people shown in the drawings are depictions of my son, Lain. Thus, his exhibit was called "Self Surplus". His unique style is evident. You can look at his work and recognize it as his and not just anyone's. I wish I was more educated in art and could explain it in better terminology. All I can say, is that I loved what he created and was very proud of my son.

The drawings are large and done in pencil so it's hard to see the detail in a full shot so I also took some closer shots of sections.

Quite a crowd showed up. That's Lain in the white pants. Note the partial view of two cakes and the cheese and crackers in the lower right hand corner that were served as hors d'oeuvres. There was white cranberry juice also.

This is the decimated remains a little later.

I want my son's vest
(it says "Country" with two guitars on the back).

Lain explaining a drawing to my sister.

My sister, Lain, and me.

We got a little worn out.

Rainy Day in Berkeley

My son in Golden Gate Park

Saturday, my son and I went to the De Young Museum in Golden Gate Park. They had two special exhibits - Andy Warhol and Yves Saint Laurent. The Andy Warhol exhibit was mainly album covers he'd done, some photos of him, and films that he had done. I hadn't realized Warhol even did album covers and films so that was interesting. But it was the Yves Saint Laurent fashion display that really amazed me. I'm no fashionista but the dresses were like works of art, which I guess is really what the fashion show clothes are about, more artlike than wearable. It'd be so fun to be able to just try something like that on, with all those feathers, sequins, and color. 

Sunday did not go exactly to plan, but sometimes you get something even better that way. My sister and I were walking towards downtown Berkeley, planning to enjoy the sunny, warm weather and see what interesting shops we could find when we walked past a doorway where a wave of lively gospel music washed out the door and over us.

 

We stopped to listen and my sister said "Let's go in!" I was a little worried that we wouldn't be welcome just walking into a church in our jeans and tennis shoes. But a couple church women saw us and invited us into The Way Christian Center. 

We immediately joined in the clapping, swaying, and singing. Every time I thought the song was going to end, the organist would start it all up again. People were so friendly, hugging and greeting me as "sister Mary". We left the service energized and ready for our walk.

We stopped for coffee, of course, which we enjoyed outside because it was a such a sunny, warm day. Felt so good to feel the sunshine on my skin. Haven't had much of that at home.

My darlin sistah

My sister and I actually haven't been to San Francisco yet. We've been spending all our time walking around Berkeley and yesterday we walked to Albany, a rather upper crust neighborhood, where we couldn't afford to shop but it was fun to look.

We picked up Lain in the evening and fed him. (Sis and I had already ate leftover Chinese food in our room.)

Veggie burrito in spinach tortilla

It's been raining all day today so no walking for us. We'll be leaving soon to haul the cheese and crackers, cake, and beverages to my son's art exhibit. Hopefully, I'll get some good photos to share.

Off to Oakland

I'm flying to Oakland, CA tomorrow to see my son. He's in his last semester at the California College of the Arts. His senior art exhibit is next week and I want to see him and what he's been working on.

It's funny how I tend to think of my son like this.

When he actually looks more like this (at least last time I saw him).

I thought going to see my son during his art exhibit would be a good idea but it sounds like he's going to be busy getting his artwork set up and going to classes while I'm there, so I'm not sure how much time we'll actually spend together. But one of my sister's is joining me in Oakland and we'll do some sightseeing and catch up each other's lives to pass the time.

Anyway, I have to get packing. I'm bringing my camera and hope to get some decent photos and blog about the trip. But it depends how busy my sister keeps me.